True Nature: My Journey Past Religion

by Mark Bloom

For years, each of my days dawned without a higher purpose. My job offered nothing but heartburn and a paycheck. I had money in the bank and had met a nice woman—all the ingredients for personal success—but something was missing. My life was headed nowhere. I was so far off the path to enlightenment, I couldn’t have found it with a map.

Raised Jewish, I applied myself to the tenets of that religion. But at fifteen, I noticed that the other men praying beside me all qualified for AARP. I asked God, “Is religion nothing more than currying Your favor, then queuing up for death?” I received no answer.

Taking the matter into my own hands, I left Judaism and studied other religions. I debated Jehovah’s Witnesses, visited Salt Lake City’s Mormon Temple, and took a course to study the New Testament. I investigated East Indianism, American Indianism, even Cleveland Indianism. Each stop left me wanting. While I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, it wasn’t the restrictions of dogma, the dogma of ritual, or the ritual of dietary constraints. I didn’t lack faith; I lacked faith in those seeking to gain mine.

Disillusioned, I became an agnostic. Meanwhile, I continued to search for a deity that didn’t insist I subjugate myself. Why would an Omniscient Being want me on my knees? Call me blasphemous, but I never believed that path led to Heaven.

What I sought was an all-encompassing philosophy, one that revealed spiritual and human truth, one that freed me from bondage, one that connected my intellect with a sense of wonder. I yearned for a philosophy that appealed to all my senses.

After searching and debating and struggling for answers, I finally found a practice that reaches beyond the limitations of any one denomination. While my journey took me past religion, this philosophy embraces the underlying concepts of all religions. It provides new insights into ancient works, explains the source of spirit and the role of spirituality.

The Surya Program, taught by Michael Mamas, fuses cutting-edge science and age-old spiritual wisdom. It merges self-discovery with self-healing, adding a new dimension to personal development. It is the only spiritual philosophy I’ve found that makes sense on every level.

While it’s true that divine wisdom lies at the core of every one of us, it’s not easy to access. It’s in there: that place where we are all perfect, whole, one with everything. But you can’t just dial 4-1-1 to get it. Like finding buried treasure, discovering the gold within takes time and attention.

In fact, my first foray into the Surya Program left me angry, not blissful. The program challenged my identities: who I thought I was and where I thought the answers lay. I had to get over myself, move beyond narrow views, to find the deep ocean of wisdom.

Now, I’m exploring the mystery of me and the wonder of the universe. As Marcel Proust once said, “Discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” My inner work improves the work I do out in the world. Instead of dividing my life into neat compartments, I’m integrating it into a fluid whole. While I’m still only human, I try to live in a way that supports my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health.

As a result, life has become a more conscious experience. For example, I’ve become aware how physical exercise also balances my emotions, clears my intellect, and plumbs my spiritual well. When I write, I see the connection between the words on the page and their effect on my psyche. Relationships arise from everything I do.

I’ve gained an enormous amount of confidence since coming to understand myself better. Like everyone, I still encounter uncomfortable situations, but now I recognize the signs of stress. Awareness leads to new—and healthier—habits. My thoughts, words, and actions increasingly reflect a more honest self-expression as I function more from that place inside, my true nature.

I already had a strong marriage and family ties, but now I don’t get lost to the roles involved—husband, brother, or son. Instead of acting out those roles, I act through them, no longer losing sight of who I am. I feel exhilarated and a little frightened as I shed the masks I used to hide behind, but it’s a truer way to live.

As I focus on the inevitable molehills of life, like pleasing a new boss or balancing my checkbook, I also spend time every day on the mountain: exploring my conditioning, the patterns of behavior I’ve depended on since childhood. I don’t seek to alter that conditioning, merely understand and accept it. Awareness, as I said, leads to healthier habits. I still might have an angry first response in a given situation, but I no longer need to act on it.

And that’s the point. As I’ve explored my inner depths, I’ve quite naturally become more aware of who I am meant to be. The deeper I’ve explored myself, seeking answers to old questions, the more I’ve evolved spiritually. While that might mean something different to each of us, to me it implies a growing feeling of well-being, a belief in the power of the universe, and a sense of purpose.

So no matter what else is going on in your life, give yourself the space, time, and attention you need to explore your soul. Meditate. Reflect. Choose wisely.

Just don’t forget to balance your checkbook once in a while.

Mark Bloom is an Asheville writer who has contributed to five books, including Writing a Professional Life. His journeys have taken him inward and outward, so he is putting his wit to work on a nonfiction travel book. If you enjoyed his story, Mark suggests you find out more about Michael Mamas and the Surya Program at www.michaelmamas.com. You can reach Mark at MHBloom@aol.com.

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